Confessions Part 14: 13 Going 33

Since it's my birth month this July and I'm turning 33 (wow I'm old! LOL!), I thought I'd share 33 things about me. These are really just some random facts about me. Now if you and I are very close in real life and been my friend since grade school or high school, you'd most likely know some if not most of these things about me.

1. Backstreet Boys led to me finding the very first friend who actually stuck around beyond 1 school year.

My friendships in grade school had an expiration date. Once the school year ends and we're no longer classmates, we're not friends anymore. I was actually afraid that I'd never make real friends - friends whose house you'd visit on weekends and vice versa, friends you'd do sleepovers with, friends you go to the mall with, and friends you'd turn to in your hour of need.

But then came sixth grade. And this was in the '90s where boy bands like Boyzone, 911, Westlife, 98 Degrees etc., were all the craze of pre-teens and teenage girls. I remember seeing Anerine showing our classmates her photo album full of Backstreet Boys photos. She was not shy about letting people know how much she loved the boys and particularly the youngest one, the gorgeous blonde, blue eyed Nick Carter whom I was also crazy about.

When she found out I liked BSB and Nick, the next day, she came up to me with a photo of Nick Carter with a note on the back: Will you be my best friend? 

Just like that I had landed myself an instant best friend. LOL! Turns out she was just one of the many to come along who would become my friend.

2. My first ever celebrity crush was Romnick Sarmienta. 

This came about after watching Si Pardina at mga Duwende which starred Sheryl Cruz opposite him. I was particularly drawn to his eyes - chinito. For a time, I wanted to meet a dwarf as cute as Romnick. But then most movies, TV shows or comic books that had dwarves in them were nowhere near as cute he was.

3. I'm hardly crazy about chocolates. 

Most of the chocolates I get whether given by friends, wanna be suitors, acquaintances etc., I give to my mother because she's the one who likes them. The only chocolate I really like is Kit Kat - the original one. Not the dark choco or matcha one.

Though I did wish to receive Ferrero Chocolates back in high school from a guy because it was the chocolate to give back then. Eventually, I did get my wish to receive Ferrero. Did not like the taste at all. Guess who ate the rest of that chocolate? That's right. Mom.

4. But I am crazy about shoes. 

'Cos shoes don't make you feel fat. Also I particularly like heels. What can I say? I loved Carrie Bradshaw walking the streets of NYC in Manolo Blahniks. But yeah, I soon realized that it's not easy to walk in high heels. I have one too many experiences of being in heels for hours and boy did my feet hurt like hell.   

5. I have a very bad memory. 

My Dad always said "Ang bata bata mo pa, makakalimutin ka na." How bad is my memory? Well, let's put it this way - I go in a room and two seconds later, I end up wondering what I was there for. I meet someone new and a minute later, I've already forgotten his or her name. And when I leave my umbrella by the guard station at the gym, the guard would always ask when I'd be coming back for it because I sometimes would remember the umbrella only after a day or two.

6. I don't have an all time favorite movie. But I do have my go-to-films for certain moments in my life.

Bruce Almighty - When my faith is challenged because life was particularly sucking at that moment. 

500 Days of Summer - For when I get my heart broken

"I know you think she was the one, but I don't. Now I think you're just remembering the good stuff. Next time you look back, I really think you should look again"

The Devil Wears Prada - During challenging times at work. Gotta be like Andy.

and finally, He's Just Not that Into You - to remind me to look at the signs - how to tell if a guy likes me.

7. I went to a Catholic school all through my student life. Including graduate school. 
I could probably still recite the words from Angelus if you asked me to.And most prayers like the Holy Rosary.
  
8. I was both class president and club president of Mother Ignacia club during my senior year in high school. 

I've always wanted to be one. I think there's power and prestige that comes with the position. I was not really the elected class president. I don't think I was even class officer! But when our original class president had to step down, she surprisingly nominated me to be her replacement. Well also because our class adviser didn't think our class VP was also worthy of holding the post.

As for the Mother Ignacia club... Well, that was never a part of my plan. I only signed up because I thought my crush did. What was I thinking really? My crush at a religious club? Fat chance! But well I was in the club and they needed a president. Being one of the only two seniors in the club (the other was my friend whom I dragged with me into signing up in the club. Hi Bonsch! LOL!), being elected president was a walk in the park.

9. Not a beach person.
10. I am a lotion addict. 
11. I'm miserable when it's cold. Though I still want to go abroad and experience winter!
12. I thought I was ugly growing up.

Bad haircuts. Acne. Oily face. Ugh! I hated the way I look when I was in my early teen years. But Dad would always remind me of the ugly duckling and how he turned out to become a beautiful swan when he grew up.

But I guess I'm not a lost cause after all because my acne cleared up and I discovered how make up can hide beauty flaws. Also I learned to pick a hairstyle that suits my face shape and a salon with good stylists (Thanks Piandre Salon!). 

13. My best friend was my 4th grade bully.

So it turns out the term best friend isn't something you coin for the heck of it. While Anerine and I are still friends to this day, it would turn out that it's actually the guy who teased me a lot in fourth grade who would become my very best friend to this day.

He was responsible for the nicknames "Dabiana, balyena e basurera!" that my classmates in fourth grade teased me with. But then we became classmates again in high school and from there on, we became friends. 

And overtime, that friendship only grew deeper. Turns out, he's a sweetheart. Oh he still teases me a lot til this day but I know it's in a good natured way.

14. My favorite color is green. 
15. Can't sleep with the lights off.
16. I wear my heart on my sleeve. 
17. I dream of writing a romance novel and seeing that published book displayed on the shelves of book stores.
18. I have no patience in the kitchen.

I read that Cancer signs are actually great cooks or at least good in the kitchen. I can't really prove it as I have no patience in the kitchen. I easily get bored waiting for food to get cooked. I know this because of the times I tried to cook something which was usually because I wanted to impress a guy with my cooking skills.

19. I have great admiration for people who can dance really well.

I wish I could dance just like them. But I have really bad coordination skills. Fast feet and fast hands moving together? I get lost. Being great at dancing - that's actually what I liked the most about my high school crush. So if you're a guy and you're a great dancer and maybe cute to boot, I might just like you.

20. I taught myself how to ride a bike.

When I was about eight years old, our neighbors who rented the apartment beside our house moved out and left a bike. The training wheels had to come off because they were broken. I practiced for hours on end going around our garage until I got good at it. I have a scar on my leg that reminds me of that one time the bike fell on me while I was learning. Now if only I was brave enough to ride a bike around the roads of Metro Manila, I would be saving me jeepney fare.

21. I am stubborn AF! 

You can't talk me into anything I don't want to do. I think this is especially true when it comes to matters of the heart. 
  
22. I am a klutz. 

I tend to bump into things a lot. Sometimes I end up with cuts or bruises that I don't have the slightest idea how I got them. I even trip on my own two feet even while I'm just walking. Ryan is almost always a daily witness to that.   

23. Not a morning person.
24. My first ever travel locally and internationally were because of work. 
25. My love language is quality time. 

If you find me spending a lot of time with you without or talking to you without anyone or anything forcing me to do so or asking you to hang out with me, then you know I like you whether as a friend or a special someone.

26. I've been keeping a diary since grade school. 

It's how I discovered my passion for writing. When I was just starting out, my diary only consisted of one word per day. Well I'm proud to report that my diary recording has graduated from that and evolved over time to consist of more sentences. Enough to tell a bigger story. And yes, I have all my diaries with me. I still read them from time to time.

27. I have low tolerance for alcohol. 

That's probably because I don't drink a lot. So when I do get drunk, I end up puking my guts out.

28. I really like horror movies. 

I especially like it with the lights off. Scarier that way, don't you think? I even watched The Conjuring 2 alone. So if you ever feel like watching a scary movie and want company, ask me to go with you.

29.  I adore dogs specially the fluffy type. 

I gush over them when I see the cute dogs being walked by their owners. I wish to pet them and play with them. But I don't like the responsibilities that come with owning one. My favorite dog breed is Chow Chow.

30. I find forensic science very fascinating. 

I grew up watching crime scene investigations on Discovery Channel and my Sundays consisted of CSI marathons: CSI, CSI New York and CSI Miami.

31. Deathly afraid of snakes. 

32. I like guys with a good sense of humor. 

He doesn't have to be a class clown. But I like guys who can crack a joke or two and people actually laugh. I want someone who doesn't take himself too seriously. He can poke fun at himself. It's the opposite of me because I'm quite the serious type. Don't expect a wacky pose from me because I'll just give you a peace sign pose.     

33. I think Got to Believe is the sweetest romance Pinoy film ever made. 

"I never even believed in forever Toni but I think I found forever in you." *swoon*

Oh yeah, I might say I'm forever 25 but I am grateful to be 33. I have learned a lot about myself, about love and life in general and I know there are plenty more to learn. Plenty more experiences to have and memories to make and more people to meet too! And to those who I know in real life whether we've only known each other for months, for a year or have been in my life since I was young, I want to say thank you for being part of my journey. You guys are a big part of what makes my life colorful! 



P.S. Thank you Ryan for taking these photos.😊  

Top 5 Netflix Movie Night Recommendations

Since I subscribed to Netflix, most of the movies I watch nowadays are in it - either an original Netflix film or one that hit theaters before, got a DVD version and now, on the streaming giant. Watching movies is one of my favorite things to do to while away the time. It was my favorite bonding activity with my Dad too - that's actually why we had tons of DVDs at home 'til Mom decided they were only adding to the clutter of the house and sold them all.

Anyway, so let me just share with you some of the movies I've watched and liked on Netflix. 

1. The Crush

This 1993 film stars Alicia Silverstone and Cary Elwes. It's a psycho thriller story about a young man who becomes the object of affection of a mentally unstable young girl. Nick Elliot, a journalist, rents the house of a wealthy couple whose 14 year old daughter flirts with him and becomes increasingly obssessed with him when her advances to him are rejected.

This was an exciting movie. Alicia played the role of the obsessed girl perfectly. It's reminiscent of Fatal Attraction except you know, the obsessed female is younger. 

2. Primal Fear

Edward Norton plays an altar boy who gets accused of murdering a priest and Richard Gere plays a high powered, well known lawyer who has to prove his innocence in the court. 

I would say this movie is real twisted. But superb acting from Edward Norton. It's no wonder he earned an Oscar nomination as Best Supporting Actor in this film. To think this movie was his on screen debut! 

3. Fracture

The movie stars Ryan Gosling as a young assistant district attorney intent on climbing up the career ladder who finds himself engaging in a battle of the wits with Anthony Hopkins' character, a wealthy man accused of attempted murder of his unfaithful wife.

Another great watch. It's a smart thriller that'll keep you at the edge of your seat. Hopkins' acting was as always impeccable. Very reminiscent for me of how he played Hannibal Lectre. And Gosling was able to keep up in terms of acting so together they made a great pair to watch.

4. Straight Outta Compton

I'm sure you're familiar with Beats by Dr. Dre and Ice Cube. Well, this movie will give you an inside look at how they started their music careers. This is a biographical film about N.W.A (Niggas with Attitude) and the rise and fall of this gangsta rap group.

    

I liked this film because it gave a very interesting look at the lives of two guys and their friends who are now very big in the entertainment industry. Also while not a fan of rap music, I would have to say Fuck the Police song was very catchy. 

5. Set it Up

The film is about two assistants who are in desperate need of a break from the office. They team up to trick their workaholic bosses into falling in love. This one is a Netflix original and a fairly recent release.  

This movie is super cute and full of kilig. Also comes with a love lesson too - how to tell the difference between like and love. You like someone because of their qualities/personality. You love someone despite of. 

Confessions Part 13: The One About Heartbreaks

For the past couple of weeks, I found myself trying and failing to talk a friend into taking the first step in dealing with her very tough breakup. And just this week, someone asked me "Have I ever had my heart broken?" because I was giving so much advice to my friend about letting go and moving on. I smiled at this friend of mine as I replied that yes, I have in fact had my heart broken. Many times in fact. I actually almost want to refer to myself as the 'Hari ng Sablay' (King of Failures) as inspired by the Sugarfree song of the same title.

I've had a relationship and went through a painful breakup. I've loved guys who were emotionally unavailable and very much complicated. I've also had the unrequited kind of love and the almost love. I've had my fair share of crying buckets of tears; days and months, maybe years of being hoping, yearning only to be met with a sad kind of ending. I've had days when I had a loss of appetite and feeling so alone. I've had times of being in the dark because I was just so sad. But I'm no expert at heartbreaks. I don't think anyone can actually claim to be one. We ache in different ways and we heal on our own time. But I do know some things for sure: Moving on starts with learning to let go. It's not easy I know. I still struggle from time to time. But I keep trying until it sticks. Self love is very important. I will be honest in saying that growing up, I thought I needed to find my other half wherever he is. I blame that on Jerry Maguirre's "You complete me" line that I'm sure made a lot of women swoon. Not ashamed to admit I was one of them. But my very first heartbreak taught me that I didn't need to find my other half. I needed to complete me. He's just gonna be the cherry on top. I think I only started to love myself after my first real relationship ended. Truly it was a very enlightening experience for me. At the end of the day, if you love yourself, no one can break you so bad that you'll find yourself lost and would struggle to bounce back. While I haven't found my Mr. Right, I'm just going to continue loving myself and discovering who I am. A great support system is important. I am very lucky that I have a loving family and a very tight knit circle of friends whom I can always turn to in my hour of need aka shoulders to cry on; ears ready to listen and armed with words of wisdom - advice that may sometimes be tough and hurtful to hear but always done out of love for me.

Anyway, so since we're on the topic of heartbreaks, did I ever tell you guys that I once wrote a listicle of songs to listen to to get you through a breakup and it was something that got published and I got paid for? It was inspired by a summer romance I once had that yep, you guessed it - turned sour. I also have a Heartache playlist on Spotify that I listen to because like I said I somehow keep making poor choices and missteps when it comes to matters of the heart.

    

If you're wondering how my heart is doing now, I would say it's not as broken as it was a couple of months ago. There are still days I hurt and days when I long. But I'm always trying to take steps to move on and heal completely. I'm hopeful that my friend would too. 

Current List: 

Currently reading: Before I Go to Sleep by SJ Watson

I bought this second hand book from a friend at the gym a couple of months back. Finally decided yesterday to make time to read again and this is the book I chose. I'm making good progress with this book. I think I'll be done with it by tonight. 

The story is about a woman who has amnesia. Every time she goes to sleep, she forgets her name, her identity, her past and even all the people she love. And the one person she has to trust in telling her the truth might be telling her only half of the story. 

Currently watching: Brooklyn Nine Nine Season 5

You've probably seen this clip making the rounds on your Facebook newsfeed. It's from Season 5. 

I finally got a copy of the entire fifth season from a friend of mine because Netflix only has up to the fourth season. I think this show is so funny. The entire cast just works well together. 

But aside from this, I also have some new old movies I discovered on Netflix. This week, I watched Primal Fear starring Edward Norton and Richard Gere (a really nice movie!) and The Crush starring Alicia Silverstone and Cary Elwes (also a real nice movie!). Will do a post of all my recent old movie discoveries on Netflix soon. 

New discovery: Figaro's Pudding with vanilla sauce

I credit my foodie best friend, Ryan, for this. He ordered one for himself when we stayed at Figaro and when I had a bite, I tasted an explosion of sweetness. I had to order one for myself as well together with the Butterscotch Vanilla Latte, also a new discovery thanks to him.   

   

Confessions Part 13: The One About Dad

Today's confession is all about my Dad because it is Fathers' Day after all. My Facebook news feed is full of Fathers' Day greetings and tributes of people I know to their own fathers both living and deceased. Sadly, my own Fathers' Day tribute now belongs to the latter category. It's been six years since I lost my Dad to cancer which came by surprise to us all when we found out and even more a surprise that the disease took him away so fast - just about a month after.

I was close to my Dad. I would even say that I was a Daddy's girl. A lot of the things that I liked are because of him. Let me just tell you a few things about him.


1. He loved reading. 

I would say that my love for reading is one of the things I got from him. I remember him having a lot of Readers Digest stacked neatly on a shelf in their room and when I was old enough to understand its contents, I would borrow from his collection and just read. My favorite part was the true stories which could be an inspirational one, a story about love or a survival story. I also liked the jokes section and the vocabulary.

When I was a teenager, my Dad used to take me to National Bookstore and Powerbooks a lot. We'd browse through different books and magazines and I'd ask him to buy me a book or two. He was the one who exposed me to reading mystery and detective story books like Nancy Drew and Encyclopedia Brown and Choose Your Own Adventure books.

2. He loved, loved, loved movies especially the Hollywood ones.

He used to have a collection of movie VCDs and DVDs at home. In fact, watching movies was a favorite past time of ours. If there was a good movie showing in cinemas, you bet your boots we'd be watching and every night, when I get home, I would stay in their room and we'd just spend the hours watching a movie on DVD until my mom came in the room to say it was time for bed or until my Dad couldn't fight off his sleepiness anymore.

I think that my Dad could give Lorelai Gilmore a run for her money when it comes to making movie references or at least, he'd be able to relate to her quips more than I can. My earliest recollection of Dad taking me to the movies was when he took me to Greenbelt to watch the premiere of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and one of my last memories with Dad was us watching Mission Impossible 4 at Waltermart Makati which was the same day as the day we got the diagnosis from the doctors about how serious his condition was. I had to hand it to my father. If I was told I had only months to live, I don't think I would be able to bring myself to watch a movie pa. But he did.

I think if my Dad knew how to download movies and if he was still alive today, he would probably have a subscription to all the streaming sites available - Netflix, iflix, HOOQ and Fox+. I think my love for all things Hollywood is also because at such a young age, most movies I was exposed to were American made.

3. He was the strict parent.

Nope he didn't impose the no-boyfriend-until-after-College rule with me. But he was strict in a whole lot of ways! No going to the movies until College (but I did break that rule in high school! Ha! Ha!). If I was to meet my friends, I would have to ask permission days ahead and I normally had to chat him up for a while about things under the sun before I could get around to what I really wanted to say which was "Dad, could I go out with my friends?" And that comes with all the details - where; what; when; who; why. Also when I tell him I'll be home by 10PM, he's already texting me at 9:30PM to remind me and ask me where I was already. Mom's easy going. With her, it's more like "I'm going out ma. Meeting Ryan." Telling her. Not asking permission. Also usually can even do that when I'm already dressed to go out.

When I finally started entertaining guys, my Dad would always be asking me who it was I was talking to on the phone or chatting with over Yahoo Messenger. When I got a boyfriend, he would require him to pick me up at home. I used to dislike that because my then boyfriend disliked it too. He thought it was such an inconvenience that he had to go to my place first when his house was nearer the mall. I only realized as I got older that I was so wrong to dislike Dad for being so strict about that. I should have been angry at my then boyfriend for thinking what a hassle it was. I guess that's part of why he was not the right one for me.

Of course I also disliked that my Dad was so strict with me when I was growing up. I used to resent it. But again as I grew older, I began to understand where he was coming from. He was just being protective. He just wanted me to be safe of course because he loves me.     


4. My Dad was not a religious man. 

He's not. But he served God for half his adult life at church because he had good faith in Him. I remember him telling me that when my mom got sick he made a deal with God. Namanata sya. He told God if he cured my mother of cancer, he would join the people who annually does the Black Nazarene procession. But since he was claustrophobic, he didn't join the crowd instead he would walk barefoot from Quiapo to home to fulfill his end of the deal with God.

He was not a religious man but he always told me that he felt His presence in his life. He told me he knew it was God that also brought him and his father together. You see my Dad never knew his own father growing up and he had always been okay with it. But one day, it seemed like God was telling him to search for his father. Turns out, his father was sick and dying and it just seemed as though his Dad was praying to see him just before he passed away.

And even when he got sick, my Dad never blamed God. He never got angry at him or questioned Him as to why he would end up being so sick.

He touched lives when he was still alive because of his faith too. I know because there's a couple who was on the verge of splitting up then that he counselled and somehow, someway he was able to help them stay together, to remember not to give up on each other. There was also another guy who made us laugh despite our grief at church after the priest gave his final blessing of the dead. He came up to the podium, in tears just like most of us that day when we were about to bring my Dad to the crematorium, who stepped up to the microphone and said "Bakit sya pa? Marami namang iba dyan. Yung masasamang ugali." 


5. My Dad was my confidant.

I turned to my Dad for a lot of things especially for advice. When I was a kid and I was feeling lonely because I had no playmates (I wasn't allowed to go out to the streets then), my Dad told me I should use my imagination. When I had friendship troubles, he was the one I confided in him. When I graduated, he was the one who helped me look for a job. He accompanied me to every job interview, staying in nearby Mini Stops while I interviewed and when I had work troubles and worried I might never be regularized at work, he told me I would find the right job. When my boyfriend and I broke up, he was the first one I turned to. I went home crying to him and later that day, he came to my room with my favorite spaghetti from Pancake House so I could eat. He was also the one who told me there'll be other guys for me. No Mr. Right yet. But I'm sure my Dad's also helping Cupid now look for that guy.

    
This was us at the annual Ayala Triangle Lights and Sound Show. I have not learned how to put on make up just yet and so my eyebrows are hardly seen! Ha! Ha!

I was lucky I had a father like him in my life for 26 years. I miss him of course. And I wish we had more years together. That he'd be here to meet the guy for me and walk me down the aisle when the time comes. But I know he's in a better place now, looking down at us from Heaven.

To those who still have their Dads with them, I cannot begin to tell you how lucky you are. Treasure every moment you have with the first man in your life. Happy Fathers Day! 


Current List

Recently watched: Set It Up

Another Netflix original romcom! The story about two assistants who decide to set up their bosses so they could have a life outside the office. It's cute. Super love it. More than The Kissing Booth. I even like how they defined the difference of love and like. You like a person because... while you love a person despite of...

Also, just finished Queer Eye Season 2! What can I say? It's still fabulous! The Fab 5 did it again! And yes, still love Antoni so much and I adore Jonathan still! 

Currently listening to: Dancing on my Own by Robyn

I know it's not new. But recently just discovered it and loving it. Yes, I find it so relatable and think it's the soundtrack of my life right now.

I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, ohh 

I'm right over here, why can't you see me, ohh 

I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home