Sunday, June 24, 2018

Confessions Part 13: The One About Heartbreaks

For the past couple of weeks, I found myself trying and failing to talk a friend into taking the first step in dealing with her very tough breakup. And just this week, someone asked me "Have I ever had my heart broken?" because I was giving so much advice to my friend about letting go and moving on. I smiled at this friend of mine as I replied that yes, I have in fact had my heart broken. Many times in fact. I actually almost want to refer to myself as the 'Hari ng Sablay' (King of Failures) as inspired by the Sugarfree song of the same title.

I've had a relationship and went through a painful breakup. I've loved guys who were emotionally unavailable and very much complicated. I've also had the unrequited kind of love and the almost love. I've had my fair share of crying buckets of tears; days and months, maybe years of being hoping, yearning only to be met with a sad kind of ending. I've had days when I had a loss of appetite and feeling so alone. I've had times of being in the dark because I was just so sad. But I'm no expert at heartbreaks. I don't think anyone can actually claim to be one. We ache in different ways and we heal on our own time. But I do know some things for sure: Moving on starts with learning to let go. It's not easy I know. I still struggle from time to time. But I keep trying until it sticks. Self love is very important. I will be honest in saying that growing up, I thought I needed to find my other half wherever he is. I blame that on Jerry Maguirre's "You complete me" line that I'm sure made a lot of women swoon. Not ashamed to admit I was one of them. But my very first heartbreak taught me that I didn't need to find my other half. I needed to complete me. He's just gonna be the cherry on top. I think I only started to love myself after my first real relationship ended. Truly it was a very enlightening experience for me. At the end of the day, if you love yourself, no one can break you so bad that you'll find yourself lost and would struggle to bounce back. While I haven't found my Mr. Right, I'm just going to continue loving myself and discovering who I am. A great support system is important. I am very lucky that I have a loving family and a very tight knit circle of friends whom I can always turn to in my hour of need aka shoulders to cry on; ears ready to listen and armed with words of wisdom - advice that may sometimes be tough and hurtful to hear but always done out of love for me.

Anyway, so since we're on the topic of heartbreaks, did I ever tell you guys that I once wrote a listicle of songs to listen to to get you through a breakup and it was something that got published and I got paid for? It was inspired by a summer romance I once had that yep, you guessed it - turned sour. I also have a Heartache playlist on Spotify that I listen to because like I said I somehow keep making poor choices and missteps when it comes to matters of the heart.

    


If you're wondering how my heart is doing now, I would say it's not as broken as it was a couple of months ago. There are still days I hurt and days when I long. But I'm always trying to take steps to move on and heal completely. I'm hopeful that my friend would too. 

Current List: 

Currently reading: Before I Go to Sleep by SJ Watson

I bought this second hand book from a friend at the gym a couple of months back. Finally decided yesterday to make time to read again and this is the book I chose. I'm making good progress with this book. I think I'll be done with it by tonight. 

The story is about a woman who has amnesia. Every time she goes to sleep, she forgets her name, her identity, her past and even all the people she love. And the one person she has to trust in telling her the truth might be telling her only half of the story. 




Currently watching: Brooklyn Nine Nine Season 5

You've probably seen this clip making the rounds on your Facebook newsfeed. It's from Season 5. 



I finally got a copy of the entire fifth season from a friend of mine because Netflix only has up to the fourth season. I think this show is so funny. The entire cast just works well together. 

But aside from this, I also have some new old movies I discovered on Netflix. This week, I watched Primal Fear starring Edward Norton and Richard Gere (a really nice movie!) and The Crush starring Alicia Silverstone and Cary Elwes (also a real nice movie!). Will do a post of all my recent old movie discoveries on Netflix soon. 

New discovery: Figaro's Pudding with vanilla sauce

I credit my foodie best friend, Ryan, for this. He ordered one for himself when we stayed at Figaro and when I had a bite, I tasted an explosion of sweetness. I had to order one for myself as well together with the Butterscotch Vanilla Latte, also a new discovery thanks to him.   


   

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